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| Currently Listening to: Big Bang - Let Me Hear Your Voice
Wow, what a fitting song for the title. :]
I spent 2 nights and 3 days with him. I felt like my heart skipped a beat when I saw him at the train station. I did miss him a lot. Obsessed much? I don't think so. ...Maybe just a little. It's because I've never had a boy who would do so much for me (as reviewed in the previous entry). I feel lucky.
Before I went there, my sister, mom, and dad were all against the idea of me going to Stony Brook just to see him. I do have other friends I would like to see, so how can they all just assume it's just for him? My sister kept telling me, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Absence makes the heart grow fonder." And put that on repeat the whole night. I don't think she understands that seeing him once, twice, or thrice a week doesn't exactly work. Plus, he's 2 hrs away. Isn't that a lot of absence? Besides, they wouldn't understand why I miss him. They don't know my long history of bad luck...
But maybe it was a bit obsessive of me to almost cry when he was taking me back to the train station on my last day. My god, I felt pathetic. I just couldn't help it though. It would be another week worth waiting for, but I do get lonely. I have to go back to reality every week unfortunately.
My sister. The things she do isn't even mean, it's just "wrong", or easily said, "fucked up". I was taking a nap one day and she came banging on my door and trying to open it. I woke up from it. She made such a big deal of waking me up, that in the end, all she wanted to do was show me coupons which I never got to see anyway. Can someone say, "What. The. Fuck??"
Another time I was webcamming with my boyfriend. It's embarassing to webcam with anyone when you have people (mainly like my sister) coming in and out to be nosey. So of course, I locked the door. It's my door, right? I have the right to lock it to maintain the last speck of privacy I still have left. The first knock and banging that came from her was to make a copy of something using my printer. Sure. The second time, I didn't bother to let her in because she wanted to bring a box of pads into my room. I told her to just leave it on the floor outside the door and I will pick it up. Seems reasonable when you're busy right? Instead, she insisted that she has to bring it in for me, or she wouldn't give it to me. So I don't get a box of pads. Big deal. Tampons ftw! The last time I swear I was going to just jump out the window. She insisted on taking out the garbage in my room out for me. Ok. Let's stop being fucking ridiculous and grow up already.
What is there going on in my life that you already do not know about because you tell everyone in the world about it? Are you so fucking desperate to know every single little thing going on in my life? Is it that interesting? Do you like to laugh at me all the time? Are you jealous? What do you want really?
Let's all just grow the fuck up already. I hate her.
And this is why I run away.
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| Currently Listening to: U Kiss - Man Man Hani
On November 5, 2009, I "ran away" for the night. I can't take a house full of yelling and screaming all the time. Sure it has nothing to do with me, but maybe I could've ignored it or tried to soothe the problem out? No, the problems in the household always keeps coming back no matter how many times you try to fix it. You eventually learn to give up and let things go its way.
They were suspiciously aware that I was going to spend the night at Stony Brook. They kept calling, so I texted my brother to notify that I would be spending the night.
The next day I did not plan to stay another night, but I did. I did it irresponsibly too. I lost sleep the first night because my boyfriend snored in my ear and twitched a lot, as well as his roommate on the top bunk who snored as well. I decided to catch up on sleep the next night at around 6 pm. So my phone was left on vibrate in his jacket pocket which was hanging over a chair a couple of feet away from the bed. All throughout the night apparently until the am was when I found out I missed 20 calls and 6 text messages. I figured it was because I didn't tell them I was spending another night, but it was also about being "responsible" about it. Has anyone ever heard of "running away responsibly"?
When people try to avoid returning to their homes, don't they usually just cut off their contact completely? This is a selfish thing to do, but if someone really does want to avoid home, this is what they do. Apparently it's not possible to escape when people think you're dead for the night.
...I did enjoy the 2 nights and 3 days I spent there though. It made me forget the problems happening at home. ♥
My Alice in Wonderland costume shipped in yesterday (the sexy one). My sister saw it and was like "You can't wear this." I can wear whatever I want, even if it is slutty. "Halloween is the only holiday everyone is allowed to be a slut". She claims it's not and it "still doesn't make it right." I'll wear whatever I want, thank you very much! Booya!
Now I know how to run away responsibly- and you do too.
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| Currently Listening to: Backstreet Boys - Any Other Way
It's been two days since I've heard his voice.
Monday night he said he was going to a poker game and wouldn't be back until late. So he said he'd talk to me tomorrow (which is today). Ok.
Now he came down with a really bad cold. ...Karma man! xD
I miss him though. :T
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| Currently Listening to: Chris Brown - I Wanna Be
October 24, 2009 is the official establishment date. I don't like to stress over anniversaries that are only one month, two months, three months, etc. Those honestly have no significant meaning. Do people time their relationships because they want to keep records? Maybe 6 months would make more sense since it's half a year. A year definitely is important though.
He asked if I was big on anniversaries like that. I told him "No, birthdays and holidays are important though." (Except for Valentine's Day, that's just a commercial holiday.) He told me Valentine's Day is "my day" though. Aw. But no. I'm actually not a big fan of spending a boyfriend's money. Sure I might say it all the time, but when it comes to me, I'm actually not used to it.
Over the course of my life, there's been guys I've called "boyfriends". Did they really count?
The first was one in 7th grade. I was naive. I just wanted someone to call my 'boyfriend', I guess. That was just the start of it all.
The second one was in 8th grade. It was a 5 month thing. I really did like him. But because I was "going out with him", drama started. This is the first time I ever encountered drama too. There are other factors to us breaking up, such as my sister getting in the way, and I also got tired of him gaming all the time. I don't do gamers.
The third one was a summer fling.
The fourth one a 2 day fling because his ex girlfriend wanted to kill me... I took the time to get to know him too. I just can't deal with drama.
The fifth one I'm even too embarrassed ashamed to mention. This is when girls shouldn't give their hearts away so easily. Keep 2/3 of it to yourself. Trust me, your life will work so much simpler.
The sixth one happened because of the fourth and fifth. They kept telling me I should go out with him just to try it out. I stupidly listened to them because I just left the fifth one. People are very vulnerable once they get out of a relationship. That didn't last long because he kept thinking about the future already. No. I don't do that stuff.
I was really ready to give up on boys for awhile. It's been two years since I've had someone to call my own. Then Lucky Number 7 came along. I met him through some friends, and we just happened to hit it off. Not wanting our relationship to be just an infatuation, we decided that it would be proper to go on a few dates to see how compatible we would be together. I think needless to say, we did quite well.
I honestly was not used to how sweet he is. I've never had a boy willingly pay for dates and spend on me before. I keep asking him "Why", and he would reply, "Cause I wanna spoil my girl." I asked him to return a shirt for me because I didn't fit. The next time I saw him, he came back with the shirt the size I needed, and another shirt too. I was just so surprised that there are still boys out there who do things like this. He also neglected to leave me the receipts... Haha.
I'm not used to it. He makes me miss him all the time even though it's only been a short time since I've met him. I don't want to let go of his hand a lot of the times.
...Fine. I might sound a wee attached to him already. But looking back at all the boys I've been with, there really hasn't been anyone like him before in my life. I'm glad I met him, because he was worth all the wait.
P.S. - Please don't disclose any of this to him. ;x It's a secret.
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| Currently Listening to: Donnie J - Do It All Again
Go to Stony Brook, came back with drama and a man. Haha.
Drama? Let's not even get started on that. Drama is very complicated- especially when it's not dealt with as soon as it happens. Avoiding it is never the problem, especially when it severs your friendship with your so-called "friends". The problem happened 2 weeks ago. That's alright. If it happened, then obviously you were never meant to be with those people. After all, friends don't do bad things to other friends, right?
I don't see X anymore on campus. I guess that was God's way of telling me that he would send me someone better. I waited 2 years for the right one, and I think I found him. I can almost guarantee that my heart won't be broken again. ...Then again, you never know. Men are unpredictable (just as women are). Ladies, always keep 2/3 of your heart to yourself before giving it all away.
I'm also out of a job. Yes, people who thought I would never quit working with animals (my passion ♥)- are wrong. There's only so much one can take when working with people. You would never have thought it, but there is a lot of backstabbing when working in an animal shelter. How frightening. I am a college freshman who has better things to do than to take so much stress on top of the pre-existing ones I have? I've been complaining about it for months, so I felt it was definitely time to take control. I will not "suck it up" any longer.
Apparently, on top of my quitting, the owner of the place told one of the temporary workers to report to him if I ever came by. So all of a sudden, I have to be banned just because I quit? All 11 months of hard work I did for the animals, and I can no longer keep helping them just because I'm not being paid your measly $6/hr? I'm sorry for the language, but that's "very fucked up". Technically, I still have my volunteer contract on file to the place, so I am legally still allowed to step in to help the animals. Let's not add to the fire anymore. I'm finished. I've had it. I quit.
So what have I been up to now? Well, just living. Going to go on with life. I'll hold my head up high because I don't' care what anyone else thinks. I won't be used anymore. I won't be trampled on anymore. I'm my own person with my own rights. Go fuck with someone else.
I baked cupcakes for the first time in my life by myself yesterday though. They came out extremely well! I would say that they're "perfect". Then again, food always tastes better when you make it yourself. :)
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